It’s Time To Grow.

You’ve been through a destructive relationship that was toxic on both ends. Both of you probably weren’t mentally stable, and you’re both probably embarrassed to even talk about it. Sometimes you get a slide show of memories that remind you of how toxic it was, and you wish to completely remove it out of your mind.

Trust me, I’ve been there.

It’s hard, it’s embarrassing, and you feel as if it will take you MONTHS to recover from such a terrible relationship.

Both are to blame of this toxicity, both of you played a role, and now it’s finally over.

Or is it?

You feel drained, you feel as if you won’t be able to move on, and you probably feel like visiting a therapist.

Well, shocker. I’m here to tell you it does get better. (I promise)

Even though your past relationship didn’t work out as planned, this doesn’t mean that every connection after that will be a failure. You will have a chance, and you will find someone that will make a relationship seem like a piece of cake. (No, seriously.)

Now, considering that all relationships do take forgiveness AND work, the difference you will feel once you connect with someone that adds balance to your life will feel immeasurable compared to other relationships. Your partner must fulfill your needs within a relationship or else they will never be met (ending in you being dissatisfied). It might sound selfish, but wouldn’t you want to be selfish about your happiness?

I believe the reason why mutually toxic relationships occur is the fact that two people are needing different fulfillment factors when it comes to affection/love. When one isn’t getting fulfilled, arguments are common and disconnection between one another will eventually happen. If a person is giving and showing you what they want out of a relationship rather than what you want, it can demonstrate this disconnection.

Think about your needs. Your wants. Were they fulfilled in your past relationship?

Most likely, I’m guessing not. And that’s perfectly okay, because now you’ve learned more things about what you’d allow and what you’d not allow in your next relationship. Even though it ended terribly, you left with something priceless: the knowledge of what your needs are in order to be satisfied in a healthy relationship.

Now, it’s time to grow.

It’s time to move on, and it’s time to accept the fact that some of the things you’ve committed weren’t the healthiest either. And that’s okay too. Buttons can be pushed and arguments can get out of hand, and like I said before, it can be embarrassing to talk about it.

But realizing your faults and wanting to fix them is the first step to growth.

Realizing that, “hey, I might not want to continue this behavior if it made such huge issues last time” is that definitive step to finding that healthier relationship. We all make mistakes, and we all have done things that we regret. It’s how we grow from those mistakes in order to improve our overall meaning of life.

Rather than feeling sour and regretful about this past relationship, be thankful that it was a learning opportunity that will lead you closer to someone who will make it all easy.

Again, it will be there (if you want it to be). It will happen. There is a person out there that will be able to fill your needs with ease (if you’re worried). And if you’ve already found them, great.

But have you actually showed growth? Are you actually over it? I know that you might feel over it, but do you still feel hate towards this person? Do you still find yourself repeating the same toxic gestures that was shown in your last relationship?

Then, it’s time to grow.

I hope you guys enjoyed this blog topic, as it truly comes from my heart. I’ve experienced all of these factors, and I hope with the knowledge I know now, this will help you grow into the person you’ve always dreamed of being. The person without the jealousy issues, without focusing on “the right or wrongs,” and without relationship anxiety issues.

You can be this person, if you first fix things within yourself.

I love y’all, and always remember to:

Stay Loving, and Stay Kind.

XOXO,

Hannah